She is an American Girl

American Girl is a remarkably successful brand of dolls marketed to girls eight years and older. Indeed, they are an American toy phenomenon. They are of American girls and for American girls. When my older daughters were younger, they each had an American doll. My eight-year-old, too, as well as her friends, are avid aficionados of the brand. The doll characters have grown from a small selection of girls based on American history to a more robust selection of historical character girls, along with dolls available for just one year as “Girl of the Year,” and a plethora of “Just Like You” dolls that the young doll fancier picks if she prefers a mini-me experience over an excellent time machine adventure. That explosion of characters happened after the Mattel toy company acquired the brand from its original owners. The dolls all have their stories. These try to be uplifting and positive stories, though they also have a studied tone of political correctness, a characteristic that fortunately is not excessively preachy.

Over time they have also broadened their ethnic perspective beyond all-American White girls to include an all-American Black girl from the Civil War era, an all-American version of a (New) Mexican girl from the 1820s, and an all-American Indian girl from the 1760s. The all-Asian-American girl market has not been served by a separate identity doll, but it has received a nod through a doll who is a friend of a featured 1970s doll. That may be a sort of second-class identity doll status for Asians, but the company, like university admissions committees, probably figured that Asians are less likely than other minority identity groups to complain about not getting their own separate and equal representative.

With the latest introduction of an all-American Jewish girl (a quasi-ethnic creation) it would seem that the identity market has been sated. That would be a wholly unsatisfactory prognosis for the American Girl business model. But the company is up to the task, creating a “friend” doll who represents the all-American homeless girl community. For good measure, dad has abandoned her family, so she also represents the all-American abandoned-by-dad girl community. One wonders how the homeless girls living under freeway overpasses in these desperate economic times can buy this doll that represents their acceptance by the community at large. Costing $95, it would take a lot of collected cans and bottles that are more likely used by such less fortunate Americans to buy food. Nor is the company using the proceeds from the sale of that doll to contribute to a fund to feed the homeless.

Since Mattel has chosen to expand its doll franchise for eight-year-olds into the gritty urban realism of the homeless and the gritty suburban realism of the abandoned-by-dad families, a whole new vista of marketing opportunities has unfolded. As an American very eager to teach the young as early as possible about renouncing all willingness to judge, about the multi-hued palette of experiences of American girls, and, in the Age of the Obamas, about the seamy underside of life that reflects America’s meanspiritedness and shortcomings, I have some other proposals for 21st century New American Girl dolls:

1.  Tara Sue Johnson. Comes complete with trailer (double-wide $15 extra) and  cousin Bobbi Jo (who is also her half-sister—$95 extra). Other special accessories include the meth lab run by her mom and by her uncle Bobby Joe; her pet pit bull, Killer; and a down-to-the-primer Monte Carlo mounted on blocks (wheels $10 extra). Follow her exciting days and nights as mom’s many men friends help Tara Sue pass the time watching TV and doing special things they all enjoy. Follow her adventures in her series of six books as Tara Sue, Bobbi Jo, their mom, Uncle Bobby Joe, and various of mom’s men friends rebuild their lives as six tornadoes hit their beloved trailer.
Learn how they gain strength from family as they overcome adversity from lab explosions, obesity, and lack of dental care. Oh, and learn about the evils of middle-class values.

2.  TaKeesha M’achel Williams. Comes complete with Momma, who looks like she is TaKeesha’s older sister (because, as her book tells us, Momma had TaKeesha at age 14). Accessories sold separately include TaKeesha’s birth certificate (father’s name $5 extra; choice of four possible fathers available); crack pipe and baggie with 2 extra rocks ($15—it’s not the real thing); set of six books, each with a heart-warming story about Momma, TaKeesha, and one of her younger siblings as they survive in their 3-room apartment in Building 5 of Henderson Gardens.
Learn how they gain strength from family as they overcome adversity from late welfare checks, drug dealers, and Father’s Day confusion. Oh, and learn about the evils of racism.

3.  Sam. A new theme for American Girl, the American Girl that’s also an American Boy. Comes with either of two other post-surgery versions, as a girl (Samantha) or as a boy (Samuel). She has no last name, ’cause last names don’t really matter, ya know, when her family doesn’t accept her. Special accessories include her best friend, Jeannie Leigh Cortes ($95) who found Sam with some other runaways at 3 A.M. talking to motorists stopped on Santa Monica Boulevard in Hollywood. Jeannie and Sam discover just how much they are alike, and now Sam is looking forward to having Jeannie become a foster parent for either of the post-surgery versions of Sam. Their story is told in the book that comes with every Sam doll. You choose the appropriate version for your little American girl. Other accessories available are fake driver’s license ($10) and map of local free clinics ($5).
Learn how Sam gains strength from her real family of runaways and Jeannie, and how she overcomes adversity from being hassled by cops, people who don’t pay for services, and Denny’s new anti-loitering policy after midnight. Oh, and learn about the evils of multi-sexism.

4.  Ana Yesica Morales. What self-confident American girl would not want to have this firebrand who does not take grief from any gringa? Or from any cholo, for that matter. Comes in two versions, with and without teardrop facial tattoos. As revealed in her book, she got the tattoos at age 12, when her boyfriend celebrated his parole release by inking her. Ana Yesica comes with her very own probation report that lists her adventures, starting at age 8, when this all-American dynamo and six of her friends jumped a fourth grader for her lunch money.
Also available are the other stories that teach young readers the virtues of family and education by showing Ana’s life in the barrio as she fulfills her dream of being in a girl band by dropping out of school, being initiated into womanhood down at the park by her neighbor Ramon and his five homeboys, becoming the leader of the Brown Girrlz, and getting arrested with the other Girrlz for tagging overpasses over the Pasadena Freeway, all at the age of 14. What an exciting year of change for Ana Yesica. Crucifix necklace extra ($10 or a couple of nickel bags).
Learn how Ana Yesica and her very extended family, including those who just made it through the tunnels under the border, overcome adversity from their turf being invaded by gang bangers from Highland Park; la migra; and the priority rules enforced by the old jefes down at the corner where the day laborers gather. Oh, and learn about the evils of the English-only education movement.

5.  Pat Downes. This is a very special American Girl for your special American Girl. She comes complete with special outfits. Sold separately is Pat’s very special friend, Mrs. Pennypacker, her special education teacher. Also sold separately are her special crutches and her special talking parrot, Birdie, with whom Pat likes to talk when Mrs. P is not around. Learn how this plucky twelve-year-old and her special family overcome adversity from educational bureaucrats, buckled concrete sidewalks, and the challenge posed by a parrot who enunciates words. Oh, and learn about the evils of private health insurance that doesn’t cover speech therapy.

6.  Lily White-Gaye. This is our adopted-American Girl. Brought to the U.S. from Thailand by Todd White and Will Gaye, she is lucky to have not just one, but two daddies. She comes with a simply fabulous collection of coordinated furniture for her room and boldly-colored clothes that make a statement wherever she goes, from classroom to playroom (all sold separately). There is also her pet cockapoo, Pooftie ($15), and her pet gerbil ($15, cage included). In her first book, learn how her daddies chose to adopt her after going to Thailand intending to get a couple of young boys.
Lily is best friends with Maria and Luz, two twelve-year-old girls from El Salvador who came to the U.S. six months ago with the help of the friendly people at ACORN. In her first book, Lily is trying to help Maria and Luz, whose new “mommy” and “daddy” have been arrested by the police, and who are no longer getting pocket money from the sad men whom they helped feel better.
Learn how Lily and her devoted daddies overcome adversity from bigoted family, bigoted neighbors, and bigoted strangers. Oh, and learn about the evils of heteronormativity. 

7. Wei-Wei (Suzie) Wu. Wei-Wei is our immigrant all-American Girl. She will be an inspiration to your little American Girl who likes math and music. Wei-Wei came to this country from the Republic of China (Taiwan) with her mother and father two years ago, when she was ten. She spoke very little English, but has now passed all high school graduation exams and is planning to go to college. Both of her friends call her Suzie. Sold separately are her calculator that Suzie always carries with her ($25), her violin that she uses for her guest appearances with the L.A. Philharmonic ($20), and her collections of admissions acceptances and scholarship offers from twenty top American colleges ($10—not redeemable).
One of her friends is Amisha Chandavishnu ($95) who came to this country from India with her family. Amisha and Suzie are best friends. Suzie’s book (comes with the doll) describes how they have difficulty keeping their friendship. Amisha’s parents have refused to let her go anywhere but school and have threatened to send her back to her grandparents’ village in Bangalore because Amisha wants to attend a birthday party for a non-Indian boy in her class.
Learn how Suzie and her small one-child family overcome adversity from going to college at age twelve; cultural and generational conflicts when Suzie tells her parents she wants to stay at college a full three years rather than two and-a-half and graduate with two majors and a minor instead of three full majors; and affirmative action policies that inexplicably have kept Suzie out of the University of Caucasians Lost among Asians (UCLA). Oh, and learn about the evils of Western cultural imperialism embodied in the Infinitesimal Calculus, just like Suzie will when she starts taking classes at college.

Well, Mattel, there they are. I expect royalties when these coming “Girl of the Year” dolls make you buckets of inflated dollars in the future.