‹ Gee, the minimum wage hike reduces youth employment. Strange! •
With detainee interrogations no longer to be done by those dastardly CIA agents who blew smoke in the eyes of defenseless terrorist suspects like some high school bullies from a ’50s B-movie, someone else will need to take on that task.
Scrappleface nominates investigative journalist and devastating interviewer Katie Couric. With Katie’s skill at breaking down Caribou Barbie, she is a natural. And her network, the appropriately named C-BS, competing at levels of viewership reminiscent of the late The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, could use the boost of publicity. With her perkiness and faux sensitivity, she can get from these High Value Detainees the type of useful and truthful information that has characterized her career. BTW, shouldn’t this new High-Value Detainee Interrogation Group have the acronym HiV DIG, rather than HIG?
Michael Goldfarb at the Weekly Standard blog prefers that the President himself conduct these interrogations. You know, sit down and talk (probably not over a beer, though a hookah might work) without preconceptions or preconditions. The President might apologize for previous American policy of hunting down al Qaeda types and promise just to shoot cruise missiles at abandoned camps. As Goldfarb notes, “Think about the rapport he would have, what with his ability to quote the ‘Holy Koran,’ his smattering of Arabic and Indonesian, his fond memories of summers in Pakistan. Really, who better to do this job than the president himself?” One can’t forget his dialectically nuanced pronunciation of Pukki-stahn that will surely impress the terrorists who, in their charm-induced trance akin to those cobras under the control of a fakir (careful with that pronunciation, by the way), will readily give up all they know.
“The facts of life are conservative.” - Margaret Thatcher
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